I thought I could handle this. I know I can but at times I just got reminded of Dad.

It feels weird not being able to call dad for a lift to work. Not being able to talk about World Cup results with him like we always did for EPL. I miss him giving me RM1 every morning for my bus trips across the causeway. I just miss him.

There were moments when I would suddenly miss and think of him and no matter how hard I tried to keep those tears in, they kept coming.

Letting out to mama, Kala Ida and bro late last night did me good. I said what I had to say. I feel that mama is bottling her feelings up.

I want the family to be happy. I want my mom to not feel any pressure and worry.

& I wish Dad is still around.. and this is just a bad dream.

But it isnt.

On a separate note, I'm grateful for his return from his holidays to be with me and my family. The supports I had been getting from everyone has been fantastic. Thank you.